Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Love is Crazy

This was a post that had been on my mind for quite some time and now that Ranjit's post left many of you curious about our love story. I think it's time to share my part of the story and let you guys study the Rashomon effect- if there is any.

I was single, happy and enjoying my life after a breakup with my first love. I had just got my act together after a long mourning period and I finally was over him. My parents, who were just waiting for a sign, started off with their search to find me a suitable guy.

I wanted to enjoy life and not settle down. As much as I loved my freedom, I also knew not getting married won't end the emotional torture a girl in her mid twenties has to go through in India. Moving to another country didn't ever appeal to me, marriage was the only way out. I had just 3 conditions or rather questions, if the guy agrees/answers satisfactorily; I would marry him right away.

Yes, I was conducting an interview in a subtle way, with every guy who proposed to me or sent me request on matrimonial. My simple questions were
1. I need a separate room of my own - usual response awkward pause or then why do you wanna get married?
2. I think LOVE happens only once so I can't be sure I will be able to love you - awkward pause, it's ok! You can take your time, it will happen.
3. I should be able to decide my own career choices and I can choose not to have kids - career it's your decision but kids we'll see once we get married.

There were two guys who kind of agreed to my conditions but as you see their responses were not impressive enough. I felt like these questions weren't enough to deter all the guys away. I needed a new strategy so I went bald plus I could cross off one thing on my bucket list. No one wants a bald girl, so I thought it would buy me some time.

A wise man once said - A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. I was on that road.

Over a weekend, I hopped onto a bus from Bangalore to Tirupati, came back after a not so spiritual journey, with a bald head which shocked my best friend. I tried calming her down with yummy Tirupati Laddus.

I was revelling in my new found freedom, no hair, no makeup, no dress up games, no hassles whatsoever.  I totally loved it. It's a wonderful feeling to figure out that the world doesn't fall apart even if you choose not to do certain things in life, which are taught to you, like it's so important. I really never wanted to grow my hair back. I was ready to be called the bald girl, for the rest of my life, who doesn't care to impress anyone.

Until, on a hot sunny afternoon on which I was supposed to meet this crazy guy whom I had been talking to over the phone. He kept telling me that he had this vision that I am his soul mate. I enjoyed talking to him and later making fun of him with my colleagues during our office breaks. He was easy going, not fussy at all and all his answers to my questions were spot on.

His answers to my question:
1. Where do you prefer it- ground floor or top floor?
2. I have enough love for both of us that would last us a lifetime.
3. I have no issues, if you want to be a yoga teacher or an engineer.

I was floored by his words to be frank but I didn't show it. I just thought to myself, this guy is too good to be true. To prove he was serious about us, he agreed to call my father. I gave him my dad's number thinking he would never call. Just in case he does, I had informed my dad that I like this guy.

Despite my parents dislike, I decided to meet this too good to be true guy.  I had decided to wear a jeans and a t-shirt, like I always did, decided not to put a scarf coz I wanted the guy to see me for who I was and accept me for it.

Then I got a call informing me that he will reach in 2 hours. OMG! The sudden rush of Oxytocin through my blood, got me panicking and fretting about how ugly I look. Why couldn't I have got a scarf? Why don't I have a single skirt in my wardrobe? Are my shoes good enough? Do I look too fat? Why didn't I do something for those marks on my face?

In a very long time, I hadn't felt this way. I wanted to look pretty and attractive. My best friend came to my rescue, she lended me a skirt and top, all I needed was a scarf to match n I was presentable.

I rushed to a mall nearby and brought a scarf. Rushed back home, cleaned up and showed up on time. As I sat outside the Mall wondering if my bald head is showing through the scarf or if there's too much powder on my face, this tall guy walks towards me and just sits next to me like we've known each other forever. I really have no memory of whatever we talked, it's all a blur. All I know is that, this is too good to be true; guy was for real n he had swept me off my feet. Later when he dropped me home, he proposed to me going down on his knees with a ring.

We too went through all the regular drama and opposition that an inter-religion couple goes through but after a year of struggle and strife's, we got married with the hesitant reluctant blessings of our parents n relatives.

Our lives had crossed paths briefly, a few years before and we barely noticed each other. Years later when we met it was just perfect, everything felt like it was meant to be and we belonged together. Maybe that day was our Platinum Day of Love.

I always thought it was just a ridiculous story he cooked up, so he could start a conversation with me but over the years I feel it's that insane thought in his head, that night out of nowhere, that holds us together through thick and thin. I can be too much to handle at times but he does a good job. Today after 5years I know that he meant it when he said that he had enough love for both of us.

We just celebrated our Fourth Wedding Anniversary this month with a bunch of awesome bloggers from Kochi. Thanks to each one of you for taking an interest in our love story and inspiring me to write it down.

Thanks to Indiblogger for extending the submission date for the contest. I stand a chance to win  :)


  1. Now it is complete...Loved it...Truly I admire Ranjit for being such a good guy......

  2. beautiful . i wish both of you are blessed with platinum love forever. all the best for contest.

  3. Its really a well written piece. Great work. all the best
    please read my post too

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  5. Took a very long time to read it. You have a great story to tell regarding your life partnership. Truly appreciate that. And I am very proud to say that I was also part of that group of Bloggers from Cochin who took part with you and Renjit to celebrate your wedding anniversary.


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