Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Love is Crazy

This was a post that had been on my mind for quite some time and now that Ranjit's post left many of you curious about our love story. I think it's time to share my part of the story and let you guys study the Rashomon effect- if there is any.

I was single, happy and enjoying my life after a breakup with my first love. I had just got my act together after a long mourning period and I finally was over him. My parents, who were just waiting for a sign, started off with their search to find me a suitable guy.

I wanted to enjoy life and not settle down. As much as I loved my freedom, I also knew not getting married won't end the emotional torture a girl in her mid twenties has to go through in India. Moving to another country didn't ever appeal to me, marriage was the only way out. I had just 3 conditions or rather questions, if the guy agrees/answers satisfactorily; I would marry him right away.

Yes, I was conducting an interview in a subtle way, with every guy who proposed to me or sent me request on matrimonial. My simple questions were
1. I need a separate room of my own - usual response awkward pause or then why do you wanna get married?
2. I think LOVE happens only once so I can't be sure I will be able to love you - awkward pause, it's ok! You can take your time, it will happen.
3. I should be able to decide my own career choices and I can choose not to have kids - career it's your decision but kids we'll see once we get married.

There were two guys who kind of agreed to my conditions but as you see their responses were not impressive enough. I felt like these questions weren't enough to deter all the guys away. I needed a new strategy so I went bald plus I could cross off one thing on my bucket list. No one wants a bald girl, so I thought it would buy me some time.

A wise man once said - A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. I was on that road.

Over a weekend, I hopped onto a bus from Bangalore to Tirupati, came back after a not so spiritual journey, with a bald head which shocked my best friend. I tried calming her down with yummy Tirupati Laddus.

I was revelling in my new found freedom, no hair, no makeup, no dress up games, no hassles whatsoever.  I totally loved it. It's a wonderful feeling to figure out that the world doesn't fall apart even if you choose not to do certain things in life, which are taught to you, like it's so important. I really never wanted to grow my hair back. I was ready to be called the bald girl, for the rest of my life, who doesn't care to impress anyone.

Until, on a hot sunny afternoon on which I was supposed to meet this crazy guy whom I had been talking to over the phone. He kept telling me that he had this vision that I am his soul mate. I enjoyed talking to him and later making fun of him with my colleagues during our office breaks. He was easy going, not fussy at all and all his answers to my questions were spot on.

His answers to my question:
1. Where do you prefer it- ground floor or top floor?
2. I have enough love for both of us that would last us a lifetime.
3. I have no issues, if you want to be a yoga teacher or an engineer.

I was floored by his words to be frank but I didn't show it. I just thought to myself, this guy is too good to be true. To prove he was serious about us, he agreed to call my father. I gave him my dad's number thinking he would never call. Just in case he does, I had informed my dad that I like this guy.

Despite my parents dislike, I decided to meet this too good to be true guy.  I had decided to wear a jeans and a t-shirt, like I always did, decided not to put a scarf coz I wanted the guy to see me for who I was and accept me for it.

Then I got a call informing me that he will reach in 2 hours. OMG! The sudden rush of Oxytocin through my blood, got me panicking and fretting about how ugly I look. Why couldn't I have got a scarf? Why don't I have a single skirt in my wardrobe? Are my shoes good enough? Do I look too fat? Why didn't I do something for those marks on my face?

In a very long time, I hadn't felt this way. I wanted to look pretty and attractive. My best friend came to my rescue, she lended me a skirt and top, all I needed was a scarf to match n I was presentable.

I rushed to a mall nearby and brought a scarf. Rushed back home, cleaned up and showed up on time. As I sat outside the Mall wondering if my bald head is showing through the scarf or if there's too much powder on my face, this tall guy walks towards me and just sits next to me like we've known each other forever. I really have no memory of whatever we talked, it's all a blur. All I know is that, this is too good to be true; guy was for real n he had swept me off my feet. Later when he dropped me home, he proposed to me going down on his knees with a ring.

We too went through all the regular drama and opposition that an inter-religion couple goes through but after a year of struggle and strife's, we got married with the hesitant reluctant blessings of our parents n relatives.

Our lives had crossed paths briefly, a few years before and we barely noticed each other. Years later when we met it was just perfect, everything felt like it was meant to be and we belonged together. Maybe that day was our Platinum Day of Love.

I always thought it was just a ridiculous story he cooked up, so he could start a conversation with me but over the years I feel it's that insane thought in his head, that night out of nowhere, that holds us together through thick and thin. I can be too much to handle at times but he does a good job. Today after 5years I know that he meant it when he said that he had enough love for both of us.

We just celebrated our Fourth Wedding Anniversary this month with a bunch of awesome bloggers from Kochi. Thanks to each one of you for taking an interest in our love story and inspiring me to write it down.

Thanks to Indiblogger for extending the submission date for the contest. I stand a chance to win  :)

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

The Moment of My Life!

We all talk about being in love and its sensation? Movies have given us a glimpse of people in love running around trees but what is it actually? 

For guys love is about physical intimacy and pride. It about the bragging rights to bagging the hottest chick or having amazing sex. On the other hand, for girls it’s about sensation of been adored. They want to be surprised, they want someone who will take care of them and buy them their hearts desire.

Are we confused about love in this masala world, are we forgetting that one true moment when nothing else matters in the world to you, when you felt you could fly. 

“Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible, it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment and offer you more joy than any material possession could.”
                                                              By Barbara De Angelis

I was in a hopeless situation in my life, where I had just lost my mom. Shortly after which my girlfriend found an easy way out of my life by dating another guy behind my back. So, here I was betrayed by love and forgotten by God. 

Maybe I expected a movie romance in my life too, but I was disappointed because not only did my Katrina Kaif leave me for someone younger. I, Salman Khan had neither a tree nor women in my life to run around.

I expected to stay single, die single and be buried single. I was Devdas without all the liquor because basically I couldn't afford to buy much of it. 

A few months passed by and one day things changed, actually one moment things changed. It’s a moment that I will never forget. The fact of the matter is, I don’t know if it is possible to fall in love like this but I did.

I had gone to Bangalore to meet a friend of mine. We spent the day together shopping, dining and so on. All through this, my friend kept talking about one of her friend. At that time, it didn't matter much because we guys have an inbuilt system, where girls can keep talking about stuff and we can keep pretending to be listening to them but actually we are not. Our thoughts are about some girls ass we just saw or how we want to get our hands on some gadgets and gizmos or about our cars.

After my long long day with her. I came back home exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. So I jumped into bed and closed my eyes to sleep but I just couldn't. All my thoughts were about that one girl, whom my friend spoke about. It seemed senseless to me to feel this way about someone I have never even met, seemed senseless to even spend time thinking of her but the truth is, I just couldn't sleep the whole night. In that one moment I knew I was in love with this faceless girl. Doesn't matter what you think of me, the truth was, I lay in bed and spent the whole night making plans for my future with her. I built a home with her, had kids with her, gave them names and of course we had a dog too.

That moment in my life I could never forget, because it changed everything. I just couldn't believe I was in love, my wings sprouted again, I just couldn't believe I was looking for my tree to run around. Everything just seemed different from then on. What I felt that night was something I can’t explain. My friends say that it still doesn't  make sense to them but if I put it in words, I think I experienced a glimmer of hope. A glance into a new life with someone by my side. A fresh new way of looking at things. A way of thinking, where you see a hopeful future or feeling of compassion and passion or a positive attitude of life or even a tinge of pride cause your happy, that you have someone in your life. Whatever the explanation to the feeling is? I call the feeling being stupidly in love.

I was stupidly in love in one night with a girl I haven't even met, so when I woke up in the morning, I decided I would pursue this woman. I wasn't even sure if  she had a boyfriend or not or even if she is willing to see someone but I decided I would just take a leap of faith.

Five years since that day, that women is my wife now, how she fell for me is another story, Now she has a golden ring around her finger cause that’s all I could afford to buy her. Even if I don’t win this contest I will someday buy a platinum ring and put it around her finger because she has made my life worth living again.

This Post is Written for the Indiblogger Contest Platinum Day of Love

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

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